Lest anyone out there think my cooking and preserving and such is one long string of rosy victories, I present to you today’s Fail Blog: Do Not Try This At Home. Hey, even Babe Ruth struck out a lot, right? 🙂 If you have suggestions, bring ’em on!
Entry #1: Whole wheat crackers
This was actually a couple weeks ago, and I forget the recipe (probably out of a sense of self-preservation). It was basically flour, oil, water, and salt, and it tasted baaaaaaaaaad. Like, “throw it under the birdfeeder and even THEY won’t eat it” bad. Way too heavy, way too oily, way too hard and crunchy. I’m thinking some kind of leavening is necessary. An actual rolling pin might also be useful; these were kinda thick because I used a water glass to smoosh them flat.
Entry #2: Pickled ginger carrots
These actually taste fantastic…I just can’t keep the kahm yeast from colonizing the top of the jar after a couple weeks in the fridge. I’m going to try one more variation, where I pickle them right in the jar with the lid on instead of in a crock, but if this doesn’t work, I might not plan to keep these as a storage vegetable. Pickle and eat, quick-like, before they go bad. Carrots are too expensive and the process is too bit labor-intensive to waste.
Entry #3:Rice milk custard
The no-sugar regimen is actually going quite well, but I find myself craving things like custard and ice cream. I think it’s not so much the sugar as the concentrated calories and fat. I’ve lost about 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Some of that was “bloat” but I don’t exactly have a lot more to lose. So custard seemed like just the thing*. I’m also off dairy for the time being, and I have a case of rice milk, so…sure! Why not!
Well, “why not” is because rice milk custard is icky. It did eventually set after 90 minutes or so, but not very firmly. It also tastes “thin” and is the most unattractive color because I threw some blueberries in it. I haven’t made anything that particular shade of sludge-gray since the Purple Cabbage Paella Incident of ’89. I’ve done a decent custard with soy milk; I’m also thinking almond or hazelnut milk might work, having more protein and fat than the rice milk. *sigh*
* And also a rather obscene amount of pork rinds**.
** Don’t worry, Mom, my cholesterol is under 120 and my BP is 110/65 ! And it’s temporary!